Justin Bieber Sued for Stolen Credit Card, Penis Enlargement, Selena Gomez Abortion Money
Yup, now we’ve heard it all.
A man in Michigan – claiming to be the father of Selena Gomez – has filed a lawsuit against Justin Bieber, accusing the 19-year old superstar of stealing his American Express card.
And what, exactly, did Bieber supposedly do with it?
- He paid for Selena’s abortion
- He underwent penis enlargement surgery.
- He purchased cocaine to sell with “p-ditty” in order to sell in “drug free school zones.”
The documents also claim Bieber gave Gomez a sexually transmitted disease and, we need to quote it verbatim in this case, “Usher Raymond came to my house on the forth of july 2012 and sodomized me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring kate perry firework song in my ear drums.”
“America must boycott biebers music,” the man concludes in the lawsuit.
No problem, sir. We’ll get right on that. Thank you for bringing all these transgressions to our attention.