The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Things Fall Apart
Friendship bracelets, Pussycat dolls, Costa Rica, engagement rings, and cake-eating party crashers. This season of The Real Housewives of Orange County has had it all.
Tonight, on the season finale, notes are compared and confrontations are had.
Find out how it all goes down with our THG +/- review!
Sarah’s still being a ball of drunken crazy about being picked on for breaking the cake. Over her. Minus 3.
In two signs of the Apocalypse, Terry calls Brooks “a really nice guy” (Minus 4) and Tamra decides to eat carbs (Plus 4).
To commemorate their five months of being friends, and as a tit-for-tat from the first episode, Gretchen gives Tamra a friendship bracelet. Each charm represents something special, but one heart represents how Tamra’s unbreakable. Tamra tells Gretchen she loves her and thanks her for being such a good friend. And then she cries again. While Tamra needs to lay off the booze tonight, it’s a nice moment for these ladies. Plus 10.
Sarah’s still whining about the cake and has the audacity to call Heather the rude one. Heather calls for the “heavy artillery”–a bunch of ladies in cocktail dresses and Terry–and says it’s time for Sarah to go. Plus 3.
Alexis tries to get louder than everyone else to bring about a resolution and Slade speaks up as the voice of reason. There’s no need for a resolution. There’s a need for Sarah to leave because that’s what’s been asked of her.
As they get Sarah to the door, the greatest line in all of reality television ever, or maybe just this season, falls out of Sarah’s mouth–”Is this the world we live in? Over a bleeping piece of tiny cake?”
Yes, Sarah. Yes it is. Buh-bye. Plus 10.
The party’s still rocking at Chateau Dubrow, and Vicki decides it’s time to “apologize” to Ryan for bringing him up in her fight with Briana. But in Vickiwood, apologize means “talk about yourself and make things all about how everyone else is wrong.” Minus 17.
She thinks Ryan will help her get Briana back, but Ryan says this is really Vicki’s problem. Then she says “I love you. I don’t know you and you took my daughter away, but I love you.” Uh, thanks? Ryan loves you too? Minus 8.
Alexis is rambling on to Brooks about how Jim isn’t there because he didn’t want to be there. And who sneaks in the door but Jim!
Heather’s Drama-Senses are tingling and Alexis is chipper over Jim’s arrival. WAY chipper. Way more than just one cocktail chipper. Minus 11. Terry comments to a guest that Jim “grew a pair and showed up” right before he does the man-hug-handshake thing that men do.
In Camp Gunvalson, Jeana’s daughter Kara sees Slade hug Tamra and is confused. Gretchen applies Tamra’s lipgloss (by kissing her) and Vicki goes traipsing across the yard. She thinks Tamra and Gretchen’s friendship is fake and calls Tamra a brown-noser. Let it go, Vicki. Gretchen’s just more fun than you. Minus 7.
Slade offers up hsi services as bouncer again should Terry need them. He’s prepared to send Jim packing if he needs to. Terry asks if they’re okay and Jim says they’ll talk next week. Alexis says they should just talk now and in a complete douchebag move, Jim asks “really? Are you wearing the pants?” Minus 50. I just can’t stand this man.
Jim and Terry go talk and Terry’s straight up with Jim. He thinks Alexis is phony and inauthentic. Plus 5. Heather walks up and Jim nods in her direction and says this is the reason he wanted to talk next week. Jim’s got a problem with the women-folk. But, the talk continues. Until Tamra walks up. Then Jim’s out. Minus 10, Tamra. This wasn’t your conversation to have.
Alexis says Heather shouldn’t have even been in the conversation and it should’ve just been Jim and Terry, man-to-man. Actually, sweetheart, it should’ve been YOU and Terry because Terry talked about you. But whatever.
Alexis goes out to talk to Jim and Jim’s pulling out of the driveway without her. She practically has to chase him down the driveway to get him to stop the car. Minus 12.
The gang’s all at the table now. And the booze is flowing. Vicki toasts to the absent Alexis and Tamra rolls her eyes. Brooks challenges her, saying she gave Vicki the “Evil Eye,” and picks a fight with Tamra on Vicki’s behalf. Gretchen says a fight’s been brewing between the two of them for months.
Tamra and Brooks start to argue and then Vicki tells Eddie to get control of Tamra, which causes Tamra to tell Vicki to stop letting Brooks tell her what to think, which makes Vicki stand up and get in Tamra’s face.
Can we cut the cake already? Maybe these ladies need some sugar.
Vicki and Brooks prepare to leave and Tamra follows them to find out why they’re leaving. Vicki shouts that Tamra’s supposed to be her friend and how dare Tamra talk about Brooks and disrespect him and blah blah blah. Get a grip, Vicki.
Tamra goes to find Briana after Vicki and Brooks leave and they compare notes. Neither of them like Brooks. Tamra’s crying. Briana’s ready to stick Brooks on a plane to Siberia. Ryan goes back into the house to get Briana away from Tamra so that Tamra can’t corrupt Briana while she and Vicki are “in a healing phase.” Minus 4.
Heather goes out to get Vicki and Brooks and bring them back in for her special toast. Briana asks Vicki for Vicki’s side of the story. Suddenly, it seems Vicki saw Tamra roll her eyes and she chooses Brooks over her daughter. They all head back into the party for the final toast. Minus 12.
Finally, we’re cutting this damn cake.
Heather explains why they’re all there–shockingly, it wasn’t for the drama–she’s changed her name legally and wants to thank her friends, new and old, for coming out to support her. Heather’s classy. I like her. Plus 30.
In the worst Vicki moment so far, she muscles her way into the circle to say, basically, “Congrats Heather. When I’m attacked, I fight back and I’m leaving and I’m choosing my man.” I’m surprised she didn’t drop a “my love tank is full” for good measure. Minus 20.
Heather’s big surprise of the night–diamonds in the champagne glasses–goes over well. Tamra gets the lucky flute. Now she’s got a new rock to match the one Eddie gave her in Bora Bora.
- Tamra asks Heather to do shots. Not a good idea, Tamra. Heather says they don’t do shots. Tamra calls her Fancypants. In love, of course.
- Heather’s still opening up a restaurant.
- Eddie asks Ryan, Tamra’s son, to be his best man when Eddie and Tamra tie the knot. Tamra needs another drink.
- Briana says that she and Vicki’s relationship will really continue to suffer as long as Vicki keeps choosing Brooks.
- Briana and Ryan had a wedding for their friends and family. Briana’s also 6 months pregnant.
- Tamra and Gretchen are closer than Gretchen and Alexis.
- Gretchen doesn’t want to get married, but she does want a baby. Slade’s having his vasectomy reversed.
- Vicki and Brooks have broken up and gotten back together since the finale was taped.
- Alexis is happy with her career and her family but not her friends. She and Jim are opening a trampoline park.
EPISODE TOTAL: -96 SEASON TOTAL: -361