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THG Presents: New Year’s Resolutions For 2011!

Happy New Year from The Hollywood Gossip! As the calendar flips over to 2011, we hope that you find your spirit renewed. Or at least slept in.

Did you make any New Year’s resolutions this year? How about ones you plan on keeping for more than 48 hours? If so, best of luck with that.

We’ve heard what the stars are hoping for this year too. Or at least what they should. Here are some of THG’s celebrity New Year’s resolutions:

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Girl, put on some clothes and put down the camera.

Miley Cyrus: Keep pants on, quotes to a minimum and bongs at home.

Kelsey Grammer: Go 12 months without filing for a divorce.

Kate Middleton: Remain grounded. Register at Target.

Kristen Stewart: Smile in public.

Amber Portwood: Settle an argument without violence. Try. At least once.

Taylor Momsen: Brood silently, dress like a goth, act all “damaged,” occasionally take off your top in concert. Actually, nix the last part until you turn 18.

American Idol fans: Choose a winner that isn’t a white dude in his 20s who plays the guitar. Think we can manage that one of these years?

Kanye West: Stir up some conflict for once. Make things interesting!

Barack Obama: Gravitate toward the political center.

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We expect another banner year for Charlie.

Charlie Sheen: Make the 29th trip to rehab count.

Spencer Pratt: Keep up the fame-whoring schemes.

Britney Spears: Appear a little less robotic.

Brad Womack: Get engaged this time. Or else.

Brett Favre: Keep it in your pants.

Giuliana and Bill Rancic: Keep trying to conceive. Or adopt.

Crystal Harris: Act like you’re in this thing for love.

The Jersey Shore cast: Fist pump and break $ h!t.

Mel Gibson: Simmer the f*%k down.

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MR. MAYOR: If THG had its way, it would happen.

Levi Johnston: Restore fiscal discipline, strengthen the economy and stand up for the working voters of Wasilla, Alaska; Impregnate Sunny Oglesby.

Kim Kardashian: Become talented at something. Seriously. Anything.

Mason Dash Disick: File for parental emancipation.

Bruce Jenner: Seriously man. Run far, far away.

Chris Brown: Spend less time on Twitter.

Taylor Lautner: Work out more.

Tiger Woods: Reconcile with Rachel Uchitel.

Justin Bieber: Continue to be awesome.

Lindsay Lohan: For the love of G*d, get her $ h!t together!

The Hollywood Gossip

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